I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
