Acid is not a monday night drug
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize