Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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