from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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