is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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