so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
