even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
