Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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