someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
