I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The uberlube is also flammable
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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