yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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