she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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