Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
How does one acquire holy water?
The Olympian is in my bed
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
