Christians are straight up FREAKS
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
