We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You took a bar mat shot.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
