i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
