fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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