so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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