She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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