He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
