i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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