If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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