You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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