yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
