The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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