Im at strip club and am horny
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
