theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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