i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Randomize
