I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
