So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
