i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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