Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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