turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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