If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
