I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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