I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
