listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
