Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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