He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
