Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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