saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
