He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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