dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Welp...herpes.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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