Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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