JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
