What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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