In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
