this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
