dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
