well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
did you just send me my own nude
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
