I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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