Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
