I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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