I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Randomize
