i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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