I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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