Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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